Late to the Lana fan club

I'm very late to the Lana Del Rey fan club. The only things I knew about her were the phoney backstory, the plastic surgery and the embarrassing SNL appearance (what she seemed like she was on quaaludes or something? I didn't even see it). ANYHOO I'm not sure what made me finally listen to the album, I think my sister told me she runs to it and then I saw the beauty tutorial on xojane (linked below)....well, I love her now.

I like skillful presentation. I think it's an important of being a pop star, maybe one of the most important parts. I really admire the cohesiveness of her whole look, plus the videos, plus the music is amazing. It makes me wonder what other pop music is out there that I would like.

ADVANCED STYLE.....plus FILM TRAILER!~

I'm really excited about the Advanced Style book that just came out last week. I love that women in their 70s and (way) older are being taken seriously as fashion innovators. The book and coming film aren't not kitsch or condescending, it's an actual celebration of personal style (and of the persons behind the style). These women look avant garde, they look completely modern. It's not pearls and wool pencil skirts or houndstooth collarless fitted jackets, necessarily. It's got major elements of DIY--the film trailer features a woman who fashions her own false eyelashes, another who does her own sewing despite arthritis.

Granny fashion has been having a moment since about the mid nineties. Enid Coleslaw's 'old lady fashion', the endless moment of the granny boot, cat's eye glasses, pencil skirts, fall capes, ladylike heels, depression era dresses, grey and mauve hair from last season--many times these things signify counterculture awareness, a nod to pin-up style, rockabilly, Harold and Maude, Little Edie from Grey Gardens....on and on it goes. The look is impeccable, meticulous and hip at the same time. The difference is that 'Advanced Style' as introduced to us by Ari Seth Cohen and his model muses is actually worn by the elderly.

Why is it so wonderful to see? Why do I feel happy and even reassured by the denizens of advanced style? I think it's because it's about hope, beauty and aesthetics, three things there are way too little of. I stopped reading fashion blogsfor a while because it felt like an DIY alternative to mainstream fashion publications--but the exclusivity is still palpable in lots of popular blogs. You get the sense that everyone got the same notes for the each season--everyone in fishtail braids, or straw boaters, or the same muted greys, muted peach, the same soft focus pictures of skinny unsmiling young white girls.

Things like Advanced Style, fatshion blogs, Tavi Gevinson's blog--are the antidote to all that. There is a core element of true expression there--of using clothes to say something about yourself or your obsessions. These are places where aesthetics are valued as ethics, and the ethics are punk rock, DIY, a celebration of one's self.

And that is where Advanced Style will step in and blow ya mind--these women are not up for the competition. They are dressing for themselves, they are proud of looking so bangin'--and they are (possibly older than) your grandparents! I like that many of the women featured on the site are totally iconoclastic, the 'rule book' doesn't apply to them because the rule book the rest of us are being sold ages you out after about age 35! Like other fashion rebels (fatshion bloggers for example), they have liberated themselves from the tyranny of commercial fashion.

They've also honed their style over many years, it's unlikely that any of these women are new to fashion and style aspirations. What makes them so remarkable is they dare to express the narcissism of the truly stylish--you have to really like yourself to go to this much effort, don't you? In the end I think advanced style is so awesome for the simple reason that these women do not seem to give a fuck. Existing in a blissful world free from the oppressive male gaze (I'm being a little tongue in cheek here), they are free to create a sartorial language and expression that is totally unique to them. This type of expressive fashion requires commitment, time, an eye for detail. In a time where juicy couture sweats and flip flops are considered appropriate clothes for public view, it's totally refreshing to see people put the effort in. And to put the effort in for the love of fashion, the love of clothes, the need to create a unique self expression, to stand out. It cheers me, it truly does.

Do you think fashion blogs have been co-opted? What's your favourite source of insane eye-style-candy?

Advanced Style: "a thing to look at whenever you are bummed about the world"

style rookie: a thing to look at whenever you are bummed about the world

I need to get a copy of this book: Advanced Style. It's cribbed from a blog by the same name.

I really love this. I like the idea that senior citizens are looked at with an eye to fashion. It seems like North American culture is really quick to write off aged people as culturally irrelevant, maybe that's changed with more older poeple remaining affluent and relevant to the marketplace.

I think younger women say all the time that they dress like old ladies, I mean I've said the same thing. This is cool because it's OLD ladies dressed like incredibly cool OLD ladies!

I couldn't have been more excited to see Iris Apfel as a MAC coverlady:

And even Bust magazine had a feature a couple issues ago about "The Eccentrics: legendary style icons" who were all well over 60.

And why do these style icons look so amazing? It's because they don't give a fuck right? And you can't help but think that must be part of the wisdom that comes with age.

SATC vs Girls

Are both of these shows just an effort to chase the high of the Golden Girls? I was a huge Golden Girls fan; I remember spending months at home watching the show in reruns twice a day; I was off school recovering from surgery and I distinctly remember my father saying to me "You can't live your life according to when the Golden Girls are on!". (Other TV obsessions included "Twin Peaks", "Thirtysomething", "Murder She Wrote" and "Northern Exposure"--clearly it was a simpler time).
For me, Golden Girls, SATC and Girls exist in some hazy guilty-type pleasure zone. Part of it is, I think, the sheer pleasure of watching women act like women on TV. By that I mean: within the context of intimate relationships with other women. Otherwise known as "friendship". The shows are all different, clearly. And all amazing, also clearly. All are products of a particular time and place, and reflect a certain aspect of a white, upper middle class life.

(I'm still a little bummed about the criticisms of Girls--and I guess SATC too to some degree--for it's lack of characters of colour. I'm more bummed about the criticism than I am about the lack of POCs in the show. I think it's bs that shows reflecting or catering to a modern female audience are expected to be all things to all marginalized demographics. This seems like a clear product of not having enough fucking female-focussed or feminist shows to begin with.)

There have not been a tonne of great shows pitched to women over the past 50 years. In 10 seconds off the top of my head I can think of MTM, Rhoda, My So Called Life, Maude, Kate and Allie, One Day at a Time: 'my' shows are the aforementioned. For whatever reason, I like and relate to them. I think all three are feminist; if you don't agree I'd probably think you're just wrong. I think there is some quality of the interaction that felt real to me; or that felt familiar to me in a way that felt good.

I was raised in a home culture that was sort of a matriarchy. Outside of my nuclear family we had relatives in Ottawa and Montreal; all older women (my mom's mother and aunts primarily); and all super funny. From age 5 until my 20s I was exposed to women talking, women laughing, women sitting at the kitchen table whenever time permitted; smoking and drinking coffee and talking about everything from politics to gossip. Basically when I think about having a really good conversation with someone; in my life that person has been a woman; often a relative/sister/mom/cousin/aunt; often a friend, but usually a woman. I just feel like the quality of the conversation and humour are different with women. Of course there are rare male exceptions and I have had very affecting and important (to me) friendships with men. It just hasn't been the norm. I guess in some way; GG felt like home to me. Not sure how else to explain my obsession with in from age 15-through....well, now. It's also fucking funny. It's well written. Even the dumb stuff is awesome (the fashion; some of the silly premises etc). 

Ok, SATC. I hate that I feel a little sheepish about loving this show so much. There is truly, so much to love here! The writing was amazing, it blazed a trail in it's portrayal of women talking about sex; engaging in sex and; oh yeah relationships! The friendship between the women is written beautifully. THIS bunch of cosmo swilling, funny women is exactly what you and your friends feel like when you're shooting the shit on a night out (or in or whatever). The clothes are the fucking bomb, so shut up if you have some problem with the show sartorially. I feel like maybe the second film jumped the shark on this show and retroactively caused the show to stink or something? Don't get me wrong, I loved the second film too! I will probably agree with every criticism that could be levelled against it; and still love it. My partner cemented our bond by buying me every season and both films on dvd. He's never seen the show; I know he would hate it. It might be one of those shows that heterosexual men just don't get the decoder ring for. Or else it's straight up misogyny that prevents men from liking it. Just kidding! It strikes me as maybe the MOST quintessentially "women's" shows (well, say 'scripted' women's shows); and with that in mind I'm just really stoked that it's also so likeable. I may have to go watch all the episodes again soon. 

Oh where was I? Yes, it's RELATABLE. It's funny. It makes promiscuous sex seem....fun! adventurous! Not lousy and regrettable; and allows watchers to reframe their own (lousy, regrettable) sex that way. Thanks SATC, I love you. I don't give a shit about all the haters who say GG and SATC became the same show, I say GOOD because they're both fucking awesome! 

40 is NOT the new 20 (thank gods) or; stop scratching at the coffin lid

I turned 40 last month. I am now older, not much wiser but about one thing I am quite certain: 40 is not the new 20 and thank god for that! I think I've learned a lot via popular culture about navigating middle age; mainly what NOT to do. I've learned that 40 is not the new 20--and why the fuck would you want it to be? I don't know about other people but I am a HELL of a lot smarter and more together now than at 20. I hate that this analogy or comparison is made; between 20 and 40; as though it would be desirable for 40 to equal 20. Why? For whom? I did 20; it was great. It was 20 years ago, I'm now prepared to leave 20 to the actual 20 year olds.

True, I am aware of a changing of the tides; I have made certain concessions to age, mostly with respect to behaviour, attitude, and most importantly--fashion and personal style. (I'm only sort of joking there.)
If I'm not mistaken, the fear of aging or of *yeegads* appearing old---has to do with vulnerability; or the appearance of vulnerability. No one wants to be the middle aged woman chasing the dragon of youth. No one wants to accidentally appear on the fashion landscape wearing something that underscores her age rather than her youth.

I remember shopping with a friend whose style I admired (and still admire) greatly--we passed baby doll dresses at Beacon's Closet and I pointed them out to her, "Those are you". She responded that she'd ditched the baby dolls after age 35. I'm still impressed by the maturity of that decision! Of course I can clearly see, for myself, the fashion tics I've left behind: pigtails, knee socks, mary janes, most tshirts that aren't either completely plain or have a band logo, miniskirts with bare legs, peter pan collars, and yeah, baby doll dresses. They fell away naturally, I didn't have to think about it. I'm blessed with a sister who is merciless in her fashion critiques; and a partner who is judicious in his sartorial appraisals. From him I learned that you pretty much get one shot at a trend; that means if you wore neon and off the shoulder sweatshirts in the 80s; you don't get another chance now. If you wore acid wash the first time around, you're done. You can keep the same editorial stance in your closet, but some concessions should be made.

In my case I've given this whole transition some thought, and even made a New Year's resolution about it this past January. I adopted a fashion philosophy and a guiding principle which I call "the Witch". The witch fits my personality style perfectly; basically it's lots of eye makeup and black/grey clothes. It's almost like goth light. I don't have the time or energy to invest in anything high maintenance but this seems to fit me. If you can imagine a black and white picture of Stevie Nicks, that might be it. The jewellery is all understated but creepy, should look as though it would be serviceable in casting a spell or two. It's been terribly helpful in culling my existing wardrobe; all the bright colours, flower prints, and pastels are pretty much out.

The best investment in your appearance is staying healthy and grooming. It's boring but true. I don't regret smoking for 15 years because of my skin; I regret it because it sucked up a lot of time and money, and was stupid. I have worn 'wrinkle cream' since I was 18 years old; I'm here to tell you none of it works. I still have the wrinkles of 40 well lived years on my face. It's fine! It's all fine....it's funny now that I'm in my prime advertisers demographic years of age fear, I can see the con for what it is. Now I think the most important things to looking good are genes, diet, avoiding cigs and sun, and judicious use of cosmetics. Every woman who puts virtually any effort into her appearance looks good. I call it looking 'sexually viable'--basically it just means that your appearance suggests you considered it in some way before you left the house. Whether it is combing your hair and putting on lipstick, or hair extensions, 100 abdominal crunches a day or a leopard print skirt is immaterial, you showed up and made an effort. For myself I do put in effort every day to look good. I enjoy it. I love makeup and all that crap. I get a kick out of the performance of femininity. And I appreciate that effort in other people.

As for age, the older I get the less I think of plastic surgery. It doesn't make anyone look younger!! I mean, am I missing something? I don't shop at Whole Foods much, it's too expensive and frankly I hate the people who shop there, but it is a great place to go and just get scared about how facial plastic surgery can go wrong. And no one looks a day younger than their age. They just look SCARED. Scared of aging, scared of looking like they have some life experience, scared of not being able to compete in the sexual arena. I'm not talking about breast enhancement, nose jobs, vaginal rejuvenation or what have you, that stuff may be crazy for other reasons, I'm talking about procedures that put you on a surgeon's table in an effort to appear more youthful. I'm talking about clawing at the coffin lid. Because that is all I see anymore.
I guess as the years and decades tick by it's possible that my 'sexual viability' will ebb away too, I'll deal with that when it happens.